The Beggining of the End

So from tomorrow I will start the beggining of my end. By that i mean that it will be my final 1 and a bit years before I end my highschool life and hopefully get into Law at a good Universtity :) Ahh this day has come so fast, and i can just imagine myself saying that again when its teh night before my HSC. A few weeks ago I was looking at this leaflet my school sent out to all students which says what each year will need and how much you have to play and so on. Whilst looking through it I remmeberd the time  when i first got that leaflet in year 7 I went to the year 11 and 12 section, at the time I was thinking to my self "Its such a long way away" and returned to my year 7 section and now? Im already in year 11. I think these two years are going to be both challenging anf rewarding. I really hope I can keep on track and get the marks that I desire because these two years will be my potensial life decider! LITERALLY. Tomorrow is going to be a new beggning and I'm very excited, I just hope I can overcome all challenges which I face. To all those year 11's out there who are starting school tomorrow  GOOD LUCK!

HE IS NOT A GIRL

okay so recently i have been posting alot on my blog but i have these sudden burts of thoughts that i just HAVE to jot down. So this one is about this EXTREMLY GOOD LOOKING ABSOLUTELY HOT ACTOR i came acorss. He also has long hair, olive skin and brown eyes which i find extremly attractive. So i showed my sister, brother-in-law and once of my best friends and to them ALL  he looks like a GIRL. I really dont see how ge looks like a girl T_________T he looks perfectly boyish to me. So ive been stalking him ALL day on youtube, twitter, fb fan page and google and i just came seem to get my mind off this guy. I find him very attractive and yeah. okay this is a really tsuppid post but i just wanted to let it out to the world and who ever tht reads this that i find this guy very cute =D so yeha here is a picture of him :P

I'll do it later, I promise.

So I've been thinking how much we humans waste time every single day. You know, its times liek these after i've finsihed watching a movie and find everyone at home asleep that i reliase that i have just wasted 2 hours of my life watching a boring movie which wasnt even that good but i still chose to watch it. Insted of watching that movie i could have been doing something much more productive such as reading a book , newspaper or maybe even finishing off a half painted art work. The concept of time and future really scares me i mean seriously think about it. How fast did 2011 go? And the years ahead of me are going even faster. Im litteraly scared senseless at teh concept that i will be doing my HSC next year. What seemed like light years away to me before appears to be just a small drive to the out skirts of Edinburgh.
I also sometimes wonder why we humans are so lazy. It seemes as if this gene or trait has been passed down from out ansestors because every single person feel lazy or lathargic at one point. I however seem to feel it more often than othhers. By lazy i mean me not wanting to study but insted sit in a corner staring at a blank white wall thinking about my future then coming to a conclution that i will probably die a cat lady if i dont study, after doing such i come to a conclution that "I'll do it later i promise".
You know i realy want to be someone in life. I look around me and see so many people folowing their dreams and achiving so many things and i want to as well. I have faith that i can but there are times where i feel like i cant. The holidays are nearly over and i really need to get my act together if i want to succed and achive my ambitions. I wish i could stop wasting my time on others and focus on my studies because quite frankly i think that i waste too much of my short time doing stupid things. Honestly i cant wait till school starts because then i will be on track and studying my ass off. But for now all i shall do it return to my cave with lilac walls and think about my future and hope that someday, hopefully soon it turns out to be the way i wish it to be.

I WILL GET TO NARNIA

The love of my life

So this guy has many names, he may have be dipicted as Mason, VJ, Edmund, occationally ADRIAN but mostly SKANDAR. So my ideal guy is skandar. i love him and tht is basically the bottom line. I have thsi thing with british guys and middle eastern guys and skandar is like a two in one combo, like those weird and wacky shampoo conditioners you find in hotels that do both jobs in one  :P haha so yeah he is absoluetly GEORGEOUS! like OH MY GOSH but yeah many of my friends find his attrochous but i find him charming on so many levels. so without further ado i present to you the guy i wil someday marry.

STORY OF MY LIFE TOLD BY A TUMBLUR POSTER

this pictue is one i found on chloe's tumblur its basically where i woudl love to live with the contsant company of SKANDAR

Insparation

So today some of my friends came over. I've known them since i was around 5 and yeah so they are pretty close to our family and such. I guess they are kind of like my insparation because they are so perfect and all so yeah, this whole week i was feelin rather glum due to reasons the cyber world should not gain knnowledge of but yeah. I had lost all self confidence i had and had basically given up hope on life itself BUT! heres the BUT! Chloe and Phoebe came over and magically cheered me up using their extraordinary powers which they posses :) We had a few laughs over pictures and they showed me how insignificant it was wasting time on well insignificant stuff :p you know until today or even before they came i was all like "uh life", "ug, ill fal HSC" and " uh who cares i'll be forever alone in my cave with 50 cats and die a seldom cat lady" but now im like "UFDJBCBJCJIF" <-- in happy language :) I am so happy that they came because now i can start year 11 with a smile and go "YALLAH COME AT ME" (cuz you know, skandar is leb ans stuff) haha. But yeah this is not one of my usual posts with my many views of life, insted it is a thank you post dedicated to chloe and phoebe who have truely made my year by depositing back my self confidence and will power :) so to that i say THANK YOU! Thank you Chloe and Phoebe :) and yeah also chloe has a blog so read hers (Y)  http://chloeannabellesblog.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=5

Distraction

I actually wrote this post a month or so ago i think, about last year when i was in this denial/shocked state because of circumstances much to classified for the cyber world to get knowledge of. I havent had the time to post it becuase after i wrote this i went on holiday to teh lake but anywho here it is a post from last year delivered this year :)

I thought you were different. I thought you were ACTUALLY different. I thought you were going to be one of those people who will be there till my last breath who I'd spend my good times and bad times with, who'd I'd call up in the middle of the night to have a breakdown. But I guess i was wrong. Times change and so do the people with it. Seems like you have chosen the easy way out. As soon as otehrs started to come into your life you just seemed to forget me. It hurts you know, it actually does hurt. But i have to learn to grow up, its been to long and i have taken your crap for WAY to long. It time for me to step outside my cave and look into the sunlight. I have amazing memories with you and  I really wished that there would be many more but im sorry but I have to leave you. I can not afford a distraction like you in my life at the most crutial moments. The next two years are going to be my life decider and im sorry but I just cant have you in my life anymore. Maybe someday we will meet again and I hope that day you reliase what we have both lost. Until then I bid you farewell. I wish you the very best for your future, stay safe and always stay happy, and remember  that you were the closest thing I actually had.

Their Human NOT Boat people

So today I met this refugee who is helping renovating our house. I didnt know he was a refugee until I aked my dad " why does he have this look of despair?" My dad told me that he is a refugee who has been granted refuge in australia he had travelled from burma his orginal country and spent $ 12 000 US dollers to get to indonesia and then another $12 000 from indonesia to secure him a spot on a boat and travelled to Australia. Back in Burma he had a masters in Economics and was doing a well paid job, he also has wife and kids that he left behind there and he hasnt seen them for years and years because he is is'nt alowed to leave the country. My dad then went onto saying how we should be happy at how lucky we are insted of complaining over minor things such as not getting the lastest ipod or iphone and what not. And that actually made me relaise truely how lucky we all are. I never met a reguee let alone talked to him and i am kind of honered to meet him becuase he has so much courgae and bravery that none of us have. Everyday he must be sighing at how he misses his wife and kids and his kids and wife must be sighing at how much they miss him. Even when my dad goes away on a seminar to a forgein counrey or even interstate i cry and miss him because he is gone and i cant live without him and now i think that this man's kids must be crying even more as they havent talked to their father in so many years and dont even know if they will be ever able to see him. You know it brings tears to my eyes to see how much mental torture he is going though. It disgusts me when people regard these people as "Boat People" I mean seriously have you ever stopped to think what these people may be going through? We should all be looking after and looking out for these poeple insted of dispising them. They are all human like us and still we are acting inhuman against them. We should not be regarded as humans if we see these kind refugees like they are "umtouchable souls".
This man may be better off in Sydney with no war breaking out like Burma but inside he is dying and burning to see his wife and kids.
We are truely lucky and its a shame that not mant people relaise that. I pray that one day and hopfully soon enough he can reunite with his wife and kids.

Ice, water, rain and storms

I love rain, i love wind and i love the cold. Well, provided that im all sung up with a hot cup of coco. Its summer at the moment and its humid and sticky, and its one of those days where they weather makes you feel so sticky and lathargic. I wish it rained, i love seeing the rain from my bedroom window as it pours down hard on the window sill. I love to hear the thunder roar and turn of my lights just in time to see  the lightening bright up my room in a midnight blue. I love winter. I remember once when i was very young i had read in a book that it rains when faires cry. Now i have grown much to old to belive that fable but still sometimes when it rains i like to imagine that its not a fable and it is infact faires crying. You know i wish i could go back to those days, those days where the only thing you had to worry about was if someone changed the cartoon channel. Now theres so much more to think of. Time has gone incredubly fast, i cant belive that im going to graduate high school next year. So many things have changed and i feel as if i have grown up a little bit more and have begun to take a more logical view on the world itself. I guess its good but u know i still miss those days when we could freely walk around without having teh constant tension of piling homework and assesments waiting on your table to greet you with sininster grins.

You know that i look back at the past few years i shake my head in dismay at the mistakes i have done. Well i wouldnt call them mistakes but i feel i have lost many oppurtunities. I wish i could go back and change those, but then i wonder how life would have been different then. Mayybe it could have been better, maybe i would have been what i wish i was but then again i wonder what is wrong with me now? I am not unhappy nor am i dying of unbearable pain due to what i am now. I infact am quite happy. Sometimes like many others i dream, i dream about the future and what i hope it to be. I wonder if all my wishes will ever come true or if i could forfill my dreams and become a renound lawyer. I hope so.

The weather here is still sticky i realy wished it could rain so i could gaze out my window sill and think about the future and the mysterious secrets ut beholds...