The oxford dictionary definition of "idiot"

The oxford dictionary defines idiot as

noun

informal

• a stupid person.
•  archaic a person of low intelligence.

Origin:

Middle English (denoting a person of low intelligence): via Old French from Latin idiota 'ignorant person', from Greek idiōtēs 'private person, layman, ignorant person', from idios 'own, private'

Although i really do believe that should be changed to simply my name. Anyways i feel like a complete idiot and feel stupid right now. I guess it was my fault and maybe i shouldn't have. UGH. Srestha why are you so stupid my love?

Anyways on a positive note i booked my Red P test and fingers crossed i pass so i can drive away into the open! A very very very close friend of mine (probes) who i haven't seen or talked to in about a year emailed me a few days ago! although i only saw it a few minutes ago! and i can't believe to explain how much i have missed her! the idiot stuffed up her phone and now docent have my number T_T but yeah so I'm so glad i heard from her i have missed her so very much!

on a negative note dada went to curry lands today and the usual tears were shed. the house seems to empty! miss annoying him :/ today wasn't a very good day. well it wasn't bad either! my dad still hasn't enrolled me in guitar lessons :/ fingers crossed he will soon. In the meantime i am going  over my piano notes and have started to learn bhangra!

bhangra is so tiering but so much fun! with a bit more practice and many hard months down the track i hope i can choreograph my first bhangra to perform at puja!! (that is i they don't kick me out before hand for attempting to dance bhangra in sated of classical indian)

i started this new TV series "reign" and i was up till 3 in the morning watching it and i am absolutely in love with it! so much so i want to just make snow angels in them. did i ever mention how much i effing love history?

anyways guys i am going to resort back to finishing my artwork!

signing off,
Forger. xo.

p.s SRESTHA FIX YOUR SELF.

also i hear ppl downstairs D:

"A guy like that"

Firstly an apology for ignoring this blog for months now. Although i did have a tonne of things to blog about such as my awesome life after death aka hsc exams and the tonne of books i bought i was simply "not bothered" So this may be a pretty big blogpost, but don't worry i will try my best to make it as interesting as possible (which we both know it won't be)

 anyway, going on with the title ' i want a guy like that ' - something heard on the lips of probably every single female at one point in their life or another. Recently i watched an old Hillary duff classic "beauty and the briefcase" most girls went through the hillary duff phase and i certainly was not an exception to this. so right after my exams i thought why not go on a hillary duff marathon. This movie however was one that i hadn't watched. Nonetheless the movie did deliver some "words of wisdom" for all those girls who have drawn up a list in their heads about their ideal guy. Although some may consider it slightly vain making such a list, most girls seek comfort in this mystery man who they have drawn up and will almost always position their latest crush on that pedestal. So now the movie goes as such, a hillary draws up a list of the perfect guy and eventually with a stroke of luck finds him and they end up dating. However due to a cliche turn of events, the place she is interring at she ends up finding "the one" which she doesn't figure out till the end of the movie. However "the one" who is actually her boss ticks nothing off her perfect guy list and is nothing like a man she would ever want. That made me think, we all have this small list if what qualities or features which we would like to see in our significant other but very rarely do we find someone that makes the list, and if in the stroke of luck we manage to find him/her they are probably not what we want. so i guess that was a reminder for me to stuff my mental list of the perfect guy and go with the flow of nature and see what life has in store for me. until then though i will continue to fantasise over book characters that seem perfect haha

on other news i have been fuelling my inner historian with a series of books called the "cousins war" which is basically about the war of roses and the in-depth history and background stories and dear shakespeare has missed. i think after this series i may start reading hamlet, it seems quite interesting.

formal was on friday! and the weather was like my home town London. EFFING DISGUSTING! it was storming and raining and thundering and i really just felt like staying at home and watching a soppy love story rather than dressing up for the formal. But alas i gave in and dressed up and got drenched by the rain. i was expecting formal to be shit (honestly) but it was the most amazing experience ever! i had such a blast dancing and laughing with friends, so thank you MFHS 2013 you guys are truly a magical bunch! onto of that i am quite proud of myself considering i bought my first pair of heels for the formal (you all know i can't walk in them) and i danced in them non stop for 3 hours! and it was only at 1am when i got home did i feel the extent of pain in my feet! but it was an amazing experience! (some formal pics will be attacked below)

so i guess thats about it for now, i will now slither back into bed with my book and coffee and reading the night away

signing off
Forger xo.

One of my best friends who helps me take stains off my clothes in the middle of formal haha 

One of the nicest people i met in high school who on the first day of year 7 asked me "whats your deepest darkest secret" and i got scared

Another one of my best friends  that  i have made in high school after meeting her in the last hour of year 11 camp

on either side we have two of the most awesome sauce people in the mfhs hood

another one of my best friends who is actually a giraffe and laughs at the word "murga"

FREEDOM

okay so... guess who finished their hsc? yep me! ITS FINISHED
ITS DONE
ITS OVER
ITS GONE
:')

The moment the BOS person said "HSC Visual Arts candidates your time is up pens down please, close all writing booklets" I just sat there stunned. it still hasn't hit me yet that HSC is over. I feel like I'm on a break today after exams and tomorrow i will get back into studying and that i have a whole new thing to memorise... but i don't.
WAIT WHAT???

This feels so odd and surreal :/ but now that i have this massive holiday i can not wait to do all the things i have wanted!

1. master skateboarding
2. learn guitar (i bought a guitar btw guys)
3. read more books
4.move into new bedroom
5. make artworks
6. get healthy!

LOL lets be real no.6 aint going to happen haha! speaking of which i have gained so much weight over this HSC period it is seriously not even funny. my school clothes have become tight and i was in fear that my formal dress would no longer fit me as i bought it back in april but thankfully it does!!

oh and guess what my "forger" snapback finally came in the mail i was so happy haha

so yeah anyways so today was a pretty good day. mainly because HSC is over. did a few art plates in the morning and then went to school at 10am so i can study with my friends. note "studying" yeah we didn't get anything done and we weren't that tensed about it considering it was visual arts and we all everything in our heads. so yeah we basically talked and laughed and enjoyed what was the last time we would ever come together as a class to learn. after the exam we all went out to this place called some memphis grill or something in casula. we arrived at 4pm but the restaurant didn't open until 5pm so we had to sit there for an hour dying of hunger. eventually we finished eating and then we all went home. i talked to one of my best friends who i haven't seen in two years and we planned a whole day out at the city which i am looking forward too! so yeah basically these next 3 months will be amazing and i can't wait! i will be blogging much more regularly now that i have nothing to do with my non socially active life.

signing off, forger. xo.

HSC tomorrow

So my final exams for high school is about to start tomorrow. yes. the day i have been dreading and thought was far far away has finally come. with less than 24 hours till my first exam i have no idea what to feel. I feel extremely scared but at the same time i feel really excited as well because with each exam i sit i know that i will never have to look or think about that subject again.

All that i am really scared about know is my atar and if i will get into my course. Crossing my fingers i do, but if i don't its not the end of the world. Of course i would love to get into my preferred course in the first go but if i don't i can transfer after first year.

I know you all are quite stressed and that is quite normal but i just want you guys to know that we have worked to our best of abilities till this point and if we just push ourself that little bit more we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. These four digits with a decimal point in between will NOT define our lives. We are so much more than that. Those numbers will never dictate how successful we will become in life or the person who we will become. At the end of the day it all comes down to individual initiative and drive. If you have the drive you can do anything. Maybe you wont be able to accomplish it this time round but you will get there.

Exams start  tomorrow and i want to wish each and everyone of you enormous amounts of luck! And just think in a few weeks time all this will be behind us and we will venture into the wide world where we will take on a new identity and pave our futures.

Best wishes and lots of love!

Signing off,

Forger. xo.

Just try and understand

Im only 17, one of the youngest in the year group. When was a kid i had very limited friends because no one would play with me. I used to sit in the corner by myself and only had 2 friends. As I grew older I still had limited friends. Having limited friends growing up always made me think that no one wants to be my friends. The Srestha you see in front of you today has had a wacky child hood. Yes i was blessed in the sense i had awesome parents who loved me and cared for me to death, but when it came to school i was alone. If i ever spoke up my friends would stop talking to me. Perhaps that is why i seek comfort in keeping quiet and to my self. As i grew older i came into a group of friends who were all athletic and could play games. I tried my best, but being the fat indian kid i didnt get far. When playing games like elastcs i would always loose. No one would want me in their team. They made a new position for me "the ghost", the player that is in no ones team but can play. I guess they felt sorry for me. Why wouldn't they. I always stuck to teachers, and perhaps that is why i enjoy talking to my teachers and going to them for help.

It was only in high school that i started to make friends, but even then i remained reserved, never really showing who i was. I have made a few best friends in high school i love to death and who know me for who i am. At school i am a totally different person, the total opposite of who i really am. No one at school besides a few people know my interests, my talents, my likes and my habits. Its a shame that i finished high school and 95% of people dont know who i really am. But that not the point, the point is that lately i have been feeling really down. Yes I am the srestha who always laughs and makes jokes, but is that really me? Looking through my photos i was never a skinny kid, and in this day and age that is so disgusting is seems like being skinny means everything. I am not one to follow fads and to conform, but lately it seems like my mind is going there.

You know it really hurts when you constantly remind me how I'm not skinny and dont look good in this dress and that dress. it hurts when you point out to other people and say that "you could have been like her". I know, i used to play competitive tennis but stopped, i know i used to do piano but stopped, i know i used to sing but stopped, i know i used to dance and then i stopped, i know i started the guitar but stopped. I stopped so many things and do you think it dosent hurt? When i perform on stage, and others clap i feel happy. And then you remind me that if i had practiced more i could have maybe done better. Yes i made mistakes and i didnt study as hard in junior years but i cant turn back times. I am trying my hardest now and its not good enough. I came top 5 is half of my subjects but still you say i could have done better. Why can you never be truly proud. I need all you know the most and it is now that you guys are making me feel like shit. Do you not think i want to walk down the street wearing the pretty dress? Do you not think i want to become successful in life. Being a teenager in the 21st century is hard as hell. I know you have alot of expectations on me and i do try to fulfil them, but i wish you accepted the fact that i cant always be first and i cant always sing the best at concerts.

Im insecure just like every single person in this world. We are all fighting our own battles and it would help if you supported. You  say stuff like "dont worry srestha can eat the whole thing", i laugh it off and join in, but have you thought is that actually hurt me? I know im not tall, or skinny or very smart or can sing as well as others but each day i try. You just have to accept me for who i am. I will never be the smartest girl or the skinniest or prettiest girl. I will always be srestha, and i know that this srestha may not be good enough for you but i hope you learn to accept the fact that i did try. i made mistakes and im trying to fix them now. I know that time has been lost and i can never recover those moments. If i could go back in time i would never leave competitive tennis, i would never leave piano or guitar or dancing. I would try better at studies and maybe i would practice singing a bit more. I am who i am today and i am because of these mistakes a much more stronger person. Growing up i was never surrounded by friends who loved me but i found people alone the way that actually do accept me for who i am and love me. I hope they will be here forever. But please, just try too understand, im human to and i am trying.

I know that if i don't get a specific atar you will not be pleased. but what can i do? i am trying. i really am. i just hope that you guys can appreciate the fact that i am trying and now just bitch about me behind my back that i am now studying and that i will get no where in life.

I wish you understood

Singning off,
forger. xo

Graduation

So today was graduation. its done its over. mfhs year of 2013 we have frikin done it! 6 years later we stand here today. yes there has been countless bumps and pot holes along the way but we finally did it. throughout these 6 years i have made life long friends who i know i will be with forever. every single one of you, in one way or another have contributed into making the srestha that stands before you. i have never felt such a closeness and bond with so many people. you guys are truly amazing, every single one of you. although we have our differences we gel together as one. there has never ever been a cohort as close as ours and i honestly doubt there ever will be. i would even call it "magical" that we, all 150 of us gel and mix so nicely. 6 years has come to an end and now we face the HSC ahead of us. i know that each and every single once of you will be able to accomplish your dreams. you guys are truly amazing, frikin love you all. thank you for 6 years worth of memories, laughters, tears and smiles. you guys are family. #MFHS2013FAMILY

Last tuesday of high school

So today was the last tuesday of high school, it was also our informal graduation. The way went pretty well i guess. First period we played cards ^^ my addiction of the game "signal" has only risen and is bound to rise even further haha. I also learnt a new game called "spoon" or "pig" or whatever you  call it which was pretty good as well!


Legal studies was pretty fun, we gave Ms.Kensett a watch and took photos. I went crazy on skittles and ate a bunch and then we played celebrity heads which was heaps fun. I remember the last time i played i was in year 6 haha and back  then we used to put names like "Hilary duff", "Lindsey Lohan", "chad Michael murry" and all that haha! and today we put stuff like "julian assange" "snooki" "lana del rae"and "whitney houston" haha but yeah that was pretty good.

instead of art we had the rehearsal for our graduation tomorrow which was not bad besides the fact i kept on getting agitated and wanted to eat! last period was informal graduation which was amazing. the speeches were so moving and touching, the performances were mind blowing and the year 12 video was AMAZEBALLS! no words will do justice to it's amazingness haha. a few years were shed but yeah, good tears! i cant wait till tomorrow. i can guarantee there will be many many tears tomorrow! frikin love our grade!