I am so ******* stressed out

 hfpibcj hfvipn hvpi  en hvnipie inpceecncnecn <----- Clear indication of my rage. I am so stressed out at the moment. I was reading over my legal studies assesment and i cnat help but feel its worth nothing. I have promised myself this time i wil get the highest in the class but i feel as if i cant. My essay seems so wrong. I wish the teacher could help edit it for me. I dont know what to change or keep. I am just so stressed i feel like i have landed in a whole and cant see a thing because it is pitch black. I NEED HELP D: gahhh far out. How do i get unstressed? Times like these i need to do judo on someone to release my stress. But who? I might hurt them in the process. My brother has been my manican for way too long. Gah did i mention how stressed i am. I hate stupid essays. And this one is worth 40 ******* percent of my frikin yr 11 grade. IPHVKN;  B;N HGVBF ;NM HBVF 'PJVNF JPHV FHGWDBGISHCBDN;

Birthday shopping and Day 21 of the 30 day challenge

So today my aunty, I and my brother priyo went shopping for my birthday dress. First we chose this red one that has one sleve made of roses. It was a maxi type dress. I really liked that one but then my brother didnt like it. So i had to get another one. So next we chose this knee length red dress which looked better. So we bought that one. So i guess i will be dressing up as little red riding hood for the party insted of aurora :( haha but yeah the dress looks pretty good, now all i have to do is buy shoes. I got all the birthday invites printed today, they look mad thanks to my uncle who made them! What else? Mum and I finaled the list for the 3 parties and we fixed the tymings and all. My brother got his ear pierced today! I was more sccared than he was. While we waited we choose out the earing. Correcting, I chose the earing. I really liked this light blue one but priyo didnt like it but at the end he got it because he got to choose my dress so i got to choose his earing :) The gun was loud but it was over in three seconds. The lady doing it said that I was more scared than him, which was true. Haha but  yeah it was fun. I also bought a new pair of jeans (Y) lol i decided i want a mac book and my parents said yes. So now i am very excited :) I also want the dr.martains books they are soo bloddy sexi! haha. Nothing else really happened today. I booked for the parent teacher thing. REPORTS ARE COMING OUT THIS WEEK! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE! so yeah i am terrified for that. Especially my maths mark. I hate maths so much its not even funny. Hate is a compliment for maths from me. Thats how much i hate it! There is so much more to do for the party. I have to order the tables and chairs and then the baloons and my aunty wants to make a baloon arch but i have no idea how the hell she is going to make one. So yeah. I really need to clean my room. It has gotten so messy over the week.

DAY 21 OF THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Do you read? Whats your favourite book?

Yes i do read. I love reading. I have a few favourites. One of my all time favourites is "How I live Now". Its an amazing book which is set in England about an American girl who goes to live with cousins she never met in England. Shortly after she arrives WW3 breaks out and her guardian (aunty) dies. They are all seperated and yeah i dont want to reveal the whole plot just incase you decide to read it. Another one of my absolute favourite books is "The Girl From Bhagdad" Amazing book which i bought last year. Its a real life story about this girl from Bhagdad and how her family g oes though so much torture and her dad leaves her mother. She nearly gets raped and she looses the love of her life and her mother nearly dies and its basically a really sad story. But it is so damn good at the same time. I suggest you to read it. Its really good! And its a real life story :) haha. so yeah currently I'm reading a book which is basically a investigative journal "article" (book) by Tariq Ali. Its called "The Duel Pakistan On The Filght Path Of American Power" Its really good so far. I'm really into books about the middle east because they always end up having the most interesting stories.

Btw im obsessed with this song! And and and the guy in it Faydee is friends with my brothers friend and my brother said he will get his autograph for me the next time he meets him. YAY! This is why i love my brother =D

Somewhere in the world and Day 20 of the 30 day challenge

Somewhere in the world there are children walking the streets wearing ripped clothes, souless shoes and a stomach that longs for just even a crumb of bread. Somewhere in the world there are teenagers who have run away from home for reasons only they behold. Hungry and tiered and sick of the world around them. Carrying thoughts of suicide in thir head and wanting to end there lives. Somewhere in the world there are adults, just like your parents and mine, sleeping on the street, covering their children from the wind and thinking "when will we get some food?" Somewhere in the world, both far and near from our door steps are those unfortunate who have given up complaing. Whose life is a mess and they have no power or way to fix it. Somewhere in the world they are suffering while somewhere in the world we are living lavishly.

Many think that poverty exists only in third world countries, but it dosent. It is everywhere. It its really sad that we choose to ignore it. We think that if we dont pay attention to it, it will go away. Well it hasnt, and i dont think that it will any time soon. I saw this picture ages ago in the newspaper where next to a high rise builing in India is a slum. Does anyone see a problem with this? Does anyone see the socal injustice and inequality evident here? In 2009 I went to India and Bangladesh to see my family. My dad said to me when you go there you will realise how lucky you are. He was right. We are so bloddy god damn lucky to have a roof over our heads. There on the streets were children so young walking around with their hands out asking for money. Some banging their fists on the windows of the car to get something, that just might get them past tonight. And you know whats sad about all that? Not only the fact that they are children and they do not deserve this, but the fact that all these people are just neglecting them. People are screaming, shouting, cursing and often hitting the children just becase they asked for a few cents. Why? Why are you doing this? Do you have no humanity? What the hell has the world come to? And then you have those women holding babies in their arms, crying and wanting some money. The baby so skinny and so weak. Obviously they babies havent had the chance to eat or drink. My question here is why would you not give money to this poor lady? Would it kill you to give her just a few rupee or taka? (indian currency & bangla currency) What makes you not want to give it to her? Cant you see she is suffering? Seriously.

I get so frustrated when i see this. It's just so sad, there is so much inequality in the world and we sit here and choose to ignore it. Even donating a few dollers makes a change. So please, if you ever walk down the streets and you see someone collecting money for charity. Please donate, even if its just $1, because every cent counts.

DAY 20 OF THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Take a photo of your room and talk about it and the things in it

So this is my room :) Well parts of it :) Not that big but comfy enough for me. So i have a double bed as visible. You would expect me to have a single bed but if i did i would be sleeping on the floor. This is due to my extremly bag sleeping habbits which force me to move around continuosly. Some mornings i will find my self on the opposite side of the bed. How i got there? No idea. Ontop of my bed i have the wodden blocks from typo that says <3 NARNIA. This was a birthday present from Richie on my 15th birthday. The most amazing present i must add. Ontop of that i have an autograph from skandar! Yep skandar ;) ahah next photo you have my bookshelf. Ontop of which i have statues and photos of hindu deities =D and then you ahve my table with sticky notes on the wall of homework and reminders and revision notices. Then you have my notice board which is quite of embarasing :P But yeah the white board part has stuff like reminders and my atar goal, motivational quotes and things i have to remember. Then on the otherside i had notes which i have to hadn in and pictures and stuff that are very dear to me such as the UN youth camp thin, my mini red chucks, a book mark my mum gave and all sorts of other things. So yeah. That is my room =D

Who am I? and day19 of the 30 day challenge

Once again it is friday and thank god it is. This week has been so fast. I was sick on wednesday which i used to my advantage and finished my legal essay. Except i dont know how it is like now. It is good or bad or im so stressed out about it. I dont wanna loose my rank in my class for legal. Legal is my favourtite subject and i dont want to fall behind on it. So for the past few days, as i have mentioned in my previous post, i have been contemplating about who i really am? Who am I? What is the real Srestha? With so many people I act differently because thats how i have to act at that time period with those people. Like I will be different in Maths Class to Legal Studies. Someone who sees me in Maths class will think that im some kind of a drop nut crack head who dosent study and dosent care about her  life. But if someone sees me in legal studies or biology they will see me studying to hard and with so much concentration that it will look like i think about nothing but studying. Same goes with people. When I'm home and with my mum and dad im me. I'm very close with my parents, I share everything with them. My dad is like my venting machine. If I am every annoyed i just go and sit and talk with my dad because my dad and me think very alike and I feel that with a few short words he can understand me. With mum its the same. When im with friends its again different. My bestfirends will know me to be hyperactive, laughing like a manic and making jokes that half the time make no sense. At the same time my best friends know me to be this OCD person who is stressed all the time about studies, future and clenliness. And then the list goes on with close friends, friends, aquaintances and so on. Everyone knows a different site of me and now its come to a point where im like, WHO AM I? Which chacrter is teh real me? Am i what my bestfriends see me as? Am i what my parents see me as or am i what others see me as? I have no clue, and this is troubling me alot. I knw this all sounds so stupid to you, who ever you are who is reading this, but i am just so confused. I am in an identity crisis! And yeah, i just dont know what to do, or how am i to find out who i am? All i can gather is that im really cultural and traditional which is one aspect of me that all levels of family and friends know. This post is getting long and you are probably getting bored. I'm going to go do day 19 of the 30 day challenge (below) and rant on about my identity tomorrow :) So be prepared =D

DAY 19 OF THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE

A baby photo of you and a photo of you now, what are the differences?

p.s CLICK THE PHOTO TO ENLARGE!

Excuse the crapy quality that my camera and the light brought about. I took a photo of the two baby photos from my old album. The first photo was taken when i was 1and a 1/2 i think. The second photo was taken when i was three. And the last was taken when i was 15.... Im still 15 until June xD haha but yeah. So now. The differences, lets see. Well, from the first stage to the secong, my face becase more longer than the round baby face. My eyes look much bigger. If only i had big eyes like that now T____T. The change from the seconf photo to the third is alot. I think i look completletly different. My eye brows have become much more daeker. My nose a bit sharper? I dont knw :s But dramatic differences. So  yeah i guess thats it for the differeneces. The face as a whole also looks differene but yeah thats a given. We all look different in baby photos, i just look unreckogniseable :P

anyways, goodnight guys im off :)

Identity and Day 18 of the 30 day challenge

I have finished my legal studies eassay. You honestly dont know how relieved happy i am now that i have finished my essay. Only problem is that its 2 and a half pages on word doco and i need to wriyte it in class in an hour. So im hoping i can do that. So yeah, i have putting finishing it off for a very long time and now its finished!

Identity. Macqurie Fields High students are completly exhausted from studying it for English. If thats not bad enough, out next topic for art is IDENTITY. Except for art im guessing it will be much more interesting as you can work so much more with the concept of identity. Despite studying about identity in english it never occured to be amout what identity actually is. Only in art when i was thinking what i will make my artwork about did i realise that i have no idea what my personal identity. Identity is what makes you different from every single person in the world. It's basiclaly a label palced on you that can be identified by everyone. But what is my identity besdies teh basics? I understand i am a human and my name is srestha but what else is there to me? I dont really know who i am myself. How can others know who i am? I am in an identity crisis! No seriously, i have been thinkin, since monday, what makes me, me? What is there to me that i, myself can distinguish and label? I honestly have no idea. And i have no idea how I'm going to find who i really am. I just havent worked it out yet. Who am I?

DAY 18 OF THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Yous see, this 30 day challenge was supposed to end last month but im still upto day 18 out of 30. I blame this souley on school work.

Your views on religion

Views on religion. Religion is probably one of the most widely spoken about topic in the world. This is becase everyone has a comment to make about it. I know some people who are completly fanatic about their religion. So fanatic that it often causes arguments within friends and even whole communities. Others i know have no view at all. My views on religion lies in none of the two stances i have just mentioned. My views on religion is that all religions are the same and to a great extent are man made. True i may be religious but under no circumstances am i a fanatic in any way shape or form. There is so many things in my religion that i refuse to belive because it sounds absurd and illogical, but that dosent mean i dont respect it. In my opinion, all religions deliver the same message ; do good deeds. I have not come acorss any religion that does not have the central message of that. What i find realy stupid is all the controversy between religions. I mean come on people. We live in the 21st century! Why are we fighting over which religion is the best? NO RELIGION IS THE BEST! THEY ARE ALL EQUAL!  I really dont understand why people have to make such a fuss over religion. We are all human. I also dont appreciate people judging and defmaing other religions. ALL RELIGIONS SHOULD BE RESPECTED. The people who have the urge to make stupid comments on other religions should be mindful that it does hurt those belonging to that religion and you would not be happy if that happened to you. Due to me being one if the minute population of hindu's from bangladesh, my inital childhood was spent being harrased by other bengali's because I'm hindu. Who cares what religion I am, my religion is just a label. It does not define who i am. I am human and that is what defines who i am. Religion is a very delicate topic and is one of the easiest ways to spark controversy within people. I am deeply sorry if i have offended anyone.

Please take a moment to thank & Day 17 of the 30 Day Challenge

We are all lucky. Very lucky. I dont think we understand how lucky we are. I know, you all have heard this a billion times and it alwasy goes through one ear and come out the other but stop and think for a while. How lucky are you? How lucky are you to have a roof over your head and a floor beneath you and four walls around you to keep you safe. How lucky are you to have food on the table and get access the things we take for granted each day such as food, eater, shelter, access to legal and medical aid just to name a few. We go to school or work each day and come home and usually the only thing we have to worry or stress abuot it what is for dinner or the amount of homework or assignments piling up on your desk. While they worry about if there will be chance for a meal today, or what will happen tomorrow, will they be able to eat tomorrow? Where will they sleep tonight? What are they doing to do when winter comes around? Wouldn't you consider yourself to be lucky? Or do you consider your self to be unlucky because you dont have the latest gadget and all your friends do. I mean where has humanity gone? It seems to have vashined out of thin air. Hardly anyone these days feels the need to be thankful for what we have.
Its funny, all this occured to me while in legal studies a month or so back. And ever since then, a day has not gone buy since i thought abuot it. Thought about what? Well we were doing textbook work and there was a photo of a very sad looking man who looked very cold and hungry and sad, sitting in an old dirty bed with a few sheets covering his body and a beanie over his head. His bed was situation between two walls on what looked like a foot path. He was looking down and had dirty all over his face. I can not take that mental imagine out of my head no matter how many times i have tried. It might seem very weird  but there is a clenching feeling in my heart whenever i think about that picture. The sad thing is, there are thousands, millions of people out there all over the world facing the same and even more detrimental situations. Some of them have probably never seen a loaf of bread in there life. Why is the world so cruel? I wish , i really do wish i had the ability to bring light back into these peoples worlds. No one, no one deverves  to be unhappy. Everyone had the right to be happy and smile. But why arnt all these millions of people doing just that? Why do they have such cruel fate. You know, this has been going on for thousands of years, this social inequailty. But, no one yet, and i dount anyone ever will, will find a solution to this. It is not possible to help all these people single handedly. Working as a team it will be possible but then think about it, how many people would actually be bothered to work hand in hand to try and achive equality thoughout nations. It really saddens me to know that what i am writing will probably not be taken into consideration. Maybe some of you dont even care about this. I dont know. But whoever you are and whatever  your stance is, I hope you are thankfull that you are one of the lucky ones who dosent have to worry about if there will be any food on the table tonight or what they are going to do for winter because they have no clothes.

DAY 17 OF THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE

A picture of your family. Talk about them

My parents, lets see. Well my mum makes amazing food as so does all mothers around the world. Yes my life depends on food. My dad and me have alot in common. Our way of thinking and approaching and resolvgin situations is identical. My dad is kind of like my inspiration. He has done so many things that I too want to do.  He is a pHd in Science, has written in International Journals, Written books, Is the editor of a scientific journal called wetland and is even in the book called "Who is who is science in engingeering" a book with names of prestiguous scientists and engineers. Daddy even studied at Imperial College of London. Those are just some of the things he has done. He has done so many more things which i admire him for. As for my mum, she is a wonderful person who is a kindy teacher at the best primary school in the world (Campsie Public School). She basically left her carrer path as a scientist and left her pHd mid way just so she can take care of me at home and stay with me. I honestly would not have been the perosn I am if it wasnt for my mother. She too is my inspiration. She tought me so many things that i wouldnt have learnt if i was left around in child cares.

salvation army voulenteering day

Firstly, i havent been doing my 30 day challenge so i appologise. I'll get to it someone this week. So i have a fever, blocked nose and blocked ears. In conclusion, feel very sick. Today was the annual salvation army red shield appeal thingy which i have been doing every year since year 9. This year we finished within 4 hours which is pretty good because in year 9 we did 6 hours and didnt get much money. This year we got a pretty decent amount :)
So one of the houses we went to this man opened the door. Before he opened the door, i was peeking thru the window and told yafa and chantelle (who i was doing the red shield appeal thing with) that its a teenager guy. Yafa disagreed because the walls of the bedroom were purple. Whilst we were having this coversation the person who i thought was the teenager guy opened the door. Only he wasnt a teenager guy. He was a man. Well not even a man. As soon as he opened the door Chantelle and I exchanged glances and broke out in histectic laughter while yafa was staring at us tryign to make us shut up. Chantelle was able to control and stay quiet but I couldnt hold it, i was luaghing so much that i hadto bite my lip to stop laughing. So yeah, why were we laughing? This personwas this man of im guessing mid 30 to early 40. Slightly overwight . Looked like a snowman and had golden brown and black hair upto his shoulders. According to chantelle he looked like an "orangotang" haha so yeah that was the highlight of the voulenteering thing.

After i came home i slept a bit and then went to Macsquare becasue i needed a coffe travel mug. I bought this pink one (Y) Anyways, i spent the remaining few hours with my brother where i was on his fb stalking ppl since i dont have fb. So i went on this persons page and my brother is like "oi give" and im like " wait i want to see whats going on" and my brothers like " ill show you whats going on" and diverted to this page where i was dissaspointed to see someones photo :/ anyway so yeah. Next i was stalking this other person and i askedmy brother "hey where was this?" and my brother was like " yeah cuz i knw, cant you see me inthe background, i was the waiter at the party" (it was in bangla, and therefore funnier at the time) but yeah. Anyways, thats about it. The last para was most probably lame but it was funny at the time =D haha so yeah. Now i have a blocked nose and ear (no ideahow thats possible) and i need sleep. I wish i didnt have to go school tomorrow :/ i feel so sick. Oh also i gave my brother the flu as well because we are basically like superglue all the time at home. So if you hug him,beware you might get the flu as well =D
anyways, im off, goodnight guys :) <3